only if you knew

only if you knew
how i really feel about you
i am really scared
scared of rejection
never again i'll take that path
no more strength to bear that i have
the pain of losing a place called love

this pain has affected my days
i hoped to become a clear as crystals
i dread my plead not accepted by you
i dare to dream it was never real or true
i wept and cried where no more tears are to fall
feeling so helpless as tomorrow was no more
as if there will be no more singing birds
and no more running squirrels

i am now different how should i say
far opposite from those promises i let astray
other than to as promised that i would be
once again i gain a new strength and believe
that keeps me above all sadness and grief

finding myself seeking for answers
answers for i know that already exist
why then i was blind i do not know
but surely i'm seeing once again
the truth that was promised and foretold

only if you knew
even though i believe you already know
only with you Allah
this feelings of despair i would share
for all my sins is for you to forgive
as it was you all along
that make, and take and give..

i feel ashamed to ask for Jannah
where as i know i am not worthy even to think
even to smell its breeze or see its light
for i dare not want to see the abyss
a dreadful place where no man should live

for eternity i shall not regret
for all the love that i should respect
where all the test that to make me right
i am truly blessed with all my heart
thank you Allah for giving another chance
where i shall amend and make enhance.

hansuke roma