mom or dad which one should go first?

life is full of hard decisions. no matter what we aspect out of it only one decision has to be made in order to keep moving and to survive. life and death is a must. that's a promised by the almighty. saying all this got me thinking of a psychology question where i've encountered some time ago.

question: (read and close ur eyes)

"imagine that you, mom and dad are on a boat rowing through a river. a small boat to be precise, it's so small that only 3 people are able to row in it, and if one more passenger are on board, the boat would flip and everyone will fall into the river. so, only 3 people are allowed to be on. after some time rowing, you noticed that the boat has a leak, and water started to flow in. there's no other way to solve the problem accept to sacrifice one passenger out of the boat. since you're the lightest of all 3, only choice left is between mom and dad. only one have to go off board. so which one should go, mom or dad? your choice".

regardless what your answers are. every answer you give has it's meanings to life. in reality, choosing one to go off board could be easy as eating a pop corn while watching your favourite movie, because maybe your relationship with your parents are not that good to start with. to some, maybe they find it really hard to decide which one should go because parents-children relationship are very strong and it's very hard to let go. maybe to some, crying is the only answer because it could be too painful to decide which one should go because both parents is precious to them matter what.

sometimes one of our parents can be a pain in the butt and sometimes we neglect our responsibilities towards our parents as a true muslim. without realising we 'talked back at them, or raises our voice to make a point. sometimes we forget because we comfort ourselves by thinking that our parents would live for so many years to come, wait until hari raya and then say sorry. we forget that life could end any moment and maybe it's us that will go first to meet death before our parents, who knows.

whatever hardship in life, our parents are the greatest human being there is, or ever will be. put aside parents who beats their own fresh in blood, because not everyone has those 'cold blooded' feelings towards their own children.

for me, this type of question is really tough to answer. because we have our deen to think about. any decisions possible would go against islamic perspective. only thing left is to redha the circumtances and die together, maybe that's the best answer there can be for us muslims.

so, as muslim children of the future, take good care of your parents. never raises your voices in any circumstances. when they get old, sometimes it could be hard to really communicate with them because sometimes there are things that parents don't understand and it's our duty to talk with them properly so that they can understand it better. ofcourse the world is rapidly changing, and most parents can't keep up with the advancement of time. we have to be patient with our parents as patient as they were patient with us when we were just an infant. they always take good care of us no matter what the situations are. love with all the love they can give and never actually wants anything from it not even money.

ofcourse, we are very busy people, but it doesn't mean that we can hurt our parents feelings so that we can feel good, or have the feeling of satisfaction to actually make them feel bad. when they get older parents may ask the same questions many times, just like we were as kids who has loads of questions in our minds. it's the same with older parents. some say, when people get older, they tend to become more childish and for that reasons we should be more patient in dealing with our parent (s). because we never know, today might be our last moment with them, regardless how we feel about them at this moment, because tomorrow they might already be gone to meet the almighty creator of the universe.

when parent (s) do go, then it's for us to accept the reality and redha (move on). we should every day perform doa to them so that they can be amongst the chosen ones to meet Allah. at this moment if our parents are still alive, we should give all our love, and make them feel good about themselves, and make them the happiest people alive. so that, when the time come for them to go, there should not be the slightest regrets in their heart to leave this world, because they know, they have brought up a fine children for the future of islam.

only iman that could be an answer to all questions. where it should lead us, where it should bring us. one day we will too be parents to our children. and hopefully, they too have the same affects (cannot choose who to let go) if they were given such questions towards us. if so to happened, then you should be proud that, you've raised a fine muslim children who can be called soleh and solehah, which Prophet Muhammad had mentioned in his hadith.

wallahua'lam.