pursuing happiness

i was reading my friend's entry about a few hours ago and thought really deeply about it. it only occurred to me that i wasn't really sure whether i was happy or not in life as to now. these few days has been a total bored for me and many questions are stuck in my head. i usually would just ignore these mix feelings of boredom but maybe i'm just thinking too much. silly me. haha.

anyway. what is happiness? many have debated this issue and one can have personal view to it, depends on the backgrounds they come from. some would say "i'm rich, i have alot of money, i'm very happy" and the others would say "we all need money, but it's not the most important thing in life, as long as we have each other, that's also happiness". either way, that's for you to decide.

in life, we are always trying our best to do great things. we try to get good grades in school, try to get a good job, try to find our soul mate, try to become a better person and so forth. the only question that are left to be asked is why are we doing all this things, to whom and for what? my only answer to this question is to God of course and for every reasons that exist for us muslims who love their Creator.

i've been thinking to myself lately, "am i happy?", although it seems that i'm always looked miserable, put off my smile and wear black clothes in public. then people would ask, why? what's the matter? aren't you happy? well, it doesn't really mean that i'm sad if i'm not smiling. maybe it wasn't a good day for me to begin with or maybe i just had things in my mind causing my miserableness. most people don't know that black is my favourite color, i just can't find spaces in me for other colors. hehe.

i guess beside of all those things i should say that i'm happy. even though there are still things i would like to achieve in life but i am satisfied because i have Him in me, i have Him with me, where ever i go, to Him i will seek, no matter what happens, to Him i will return. gaining the Almighty's love is the total and utterly happiness for anyone can have. what more do we really want in life? well, i might be over-exaggerating a little but it could be true. it could be the only thing you seek in life but Allah Himself doesn't teach us to only seek Him and discard other things. yes, i do mean go for 'dunia', get a sports car, buy a house, live the life of your dreams, go for it all, it doesn't matter how you do it as long as it's 'halal'.

for anyone reading this entry i would just like to remind you and myself that be grateful for now. it may not be the end of your luck (rezeki), for Allah is the Great Giver. you may feel down when you fail in achieving something but it's always essential for us not to give up in what ever we do until the very end. try our best. keep trying and keep trying. who knows, with all the effort you put in doing something will be rewarded later. but never and never question the Almighty in His decisions. we must accept and move on, this is what i call, "the ultimate redha". the meaning to this is simple, although feeling a little sad if fail to achieve something you want but you tend to move on thinking that it's okay and hoping that it's for your own good and maybe there's some other luck (rezeki) is waiting and installed for you for sure in the future.

so, for me, one can obtain happiness being rich and living the 'dream life' (it's a bonus) and one can also be happy living a normal life. the ultimate and the true happiness of all is all about loving your God and being loved by the Creator Himself. how about you?